Boys wearing nail polish.
Or dressing as Elsa.
Or even wearing a tutu.
I recent read this article: http://www.scarymommy.com/mom-defends-her-son-for-wearing-tutu/ I loved it! I wish I could say I was surprised by the stranger becoming upset in seeing the boy in the tutu, but I wasn’t.
As many of you know, I have two girls and a boy. Sometimes when my girls are doing something stereo-typically for girls, my son joins in. My husband and I have never had a problem with this. Recently I was painting the girls’ nails in the bathroom. My first grader son came in and asked to have his nails painted too. I let him know I would paint them but did warn him some at school might tease him. (It makes me sad that that is true, but the fact is, it is a fact). He said that was okay. We talked about how he could stand up for himself if he was teased. My eldest daughter said a boy in her class recently had nail polish on and said it was because an older sibling painted them while he was sleeping, and suggested her brother could tell others that happened to him. I smiled to myself at that explanation because I bet the boy just liked wearing nail polish. I mean, if he did not, he could easily have removed it. I told my son that he did not need to have an excuse like that for why he was wearing polish. He could say “I like it” and “it is not okay to tease me” if teasing occurred. I am happy to report, nothing really occurred from my son wearing the polish.
I do have some family members that think it is wrong to let my son do things like wear polish. I don’t understand why. Since I was a teenager I can remember certain male celebrities wearing nail polish. I think often the issue is it somehow effects there masculinity but it didn’t effect whether or not I found the celebrity attractive. In my opinion, if you don’t like my son or want to hang out with him because he is wearing nail polish, you probably are not the kind of friend he needs anyways.
No matter what you call it, I don’t like it. From time to time I read blogs on why people cuss and why it is okay. It is for them, but not for me. I wanted to explore the other side. I’m an adult who does not curse and has never cursed (okay one time I said the b-word when asking someone to not call me it).
I have a few reasons why I do not curse and why I do not like others to curse when talking to me.
First, I think it makes the speaker sound unintelligent. Most of the time there are better words that can really convey their feelings. Clients curse in session at times (which, of course, I don’t mind) and sometimes I push a little to see if other words could paint a better picture.
Secondly, I grew up in a household where my mom cursed a lot (and I mean a lot). This was not pleasant for me or my siblings. I understand that profanity is not always meant to be offensive but hearing it so regularly made it offensive to me.
Lastly, I feel it often makes others angry. Calling someone a curse word is a lot different than calling someone, say, a jerk. It makes people become more irrational quickly.
Again, if you are okay with cursing, go right ahead. Please just try not to do it with me.
I’ll add that when injured, I do yell out, but not a cuss word. When I’m angry, I have been known to call names (i.e. turkey butt, butt munch) although what I call others tends to bring a laugh, which decreases the tension.
JENNIFER EULBERG, MA, LPC
Welcome Jennifer, our new blogger!
Jennifer is a counselor at Sandhill who specializes in depression, self-esteem, and grief & loss. Get to know Jennifer as she shares her perspectives on life, contemplates value themes, and offers gentle encouragement.
THANK YOU to Stefanie Pisarkiewicz, LPC for her blog contributions from November 2014 - February 2019!