We are a country in turmoil. It seems most people have taken sides and no one wants to listen to what the other side has to say. I’m guilty of this too. While much of the world is being ravaged by natural disasters (our country included), we are fighting each other. Don’t get me wrong, I see plenty of examples of people helping people but not enough. We can do MORE!
We need to start looking at different perspectives. We need to put ourselves in others shoes. We cannot do this by continuing to go to the same sources, the same people we have always relied on. It is time to step outside our comfort zone. I would love suggestions of reliable sites, blogs, etc that can help shed some light on different viewpoints. I recently shared on my personal Facebook page an article from Good Black News (https://goodblacknews.org/2016/07/14/editorial-what-i-said-when-my-white-friend-asked-for-my-black-opinion-on-white-privilege/). I felt it was insight. I need more!
I think we also need to go out into our community and start interacting with different people. We can start by volunteering, attending a school event, a church event, or a community gathering. Then we can talk to a few people we don’t know. Conversations can lead to understanding.
In addition, we can be stop making assumptions. We don’t know another’s story, their struggles, or what led them to where they are now. We can, however, be KIND!
"How long are you grounded for?"
"I don't know."
I hear this very often. A client broke the rules and received a consequence. Sometimes a blanket grounding of everything, sometimes loss of privileges, and sometimes a specific activity. When the youth does not know how long the consequences will last, it tends to make them more anxious. This actually makes it harder for them to follow the rules. The constant worry added on top of anger for whatever was taken away (rightfully so or not), and wondering when will their "good" behavior be enough. I'm all for waiting till you (the parent) calm down in order to give consequences but a definite timeline with definite expectations or goals is needed and helpful. Also, remember perfection is not the goal. We're crabby and irritable at times and our kids will be too.
JENNIFER EULBERG, MA, LPC
Welcome Jennifer, our new blogger!
Jennifer is a counselor at Sandhill who specializes in depression, self-esteem, and grief & loss. Get to know Jennifer as she shares her perspectives on life, contemplates value themes, and offers gentle encouragement.
THANK YOU to Stefanie Pisarkiewicz, LPC for her blog contributions from November 2014 - February 2019!