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Sandhill Blog

A Time To Give

11/27/2017

1 Comment

 
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​"I want a new doll."
 
"I want a new video game."
 
"I want a new art kit."
 
    It's that time of year when the "I wants" come out.  The holidays bring a lot of traditions and one of those includes presents.  We've been discussing what everyone wants for Christmas at my house so that we can look for deals.   If fact, I'm betting a lot of you found some great deals last week on gifts.  I know I did!
     During this time of year, I ask my kids to pick out some toys that they can donate.  We talk about how some families cannot afford to have as many toys and  that we should give to the less fortunate. 
    As we believe in Santa in my house, my kids believe that Santa will bring other children gifts but we remind them that their parents also want to be able to give them gifts and by donating some of our toys, they will be able to do this.  We also try to participate in some other holiday collections that want new toys.  We have not always been able to do this as some years have been leaner than others for us but when able, we do purchase new toys to donate,  
    My kids do struggle at times with donating old toys.  Sometimes they want to donate toys not in good condition.  We have to help them understand that if they would not want to play with it, neither would other kids.  Other times they say they have no toys to give.  They NEED them all.  This is a bit harder and longer of a conversation as we talk about how they really only NEED a few toys but they WANT a lot.  We also talk about what Christmas time really means (for us Jesus' birthday) and ways to be kind. 

1 Comment

consent

11/13/2017

0 Comments

 
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​What does consent mean?

Merriam-Webster defines consent as "compliance in or approval of what is done or proposed by another."  In the past year I feel like consent has been talked about a lot in the media.  This is a good thing.  Have we been talking to our kids about it though?  I'm not so sure.   
From a young age, we need to be teaching children to give consent.  Here are some ways to do that.  
In regarding to touching, kids should be given the option to give hugs and kisses (even to relatives).  You can talk to the child in private about why Grandma wants a hug and why it might hurt Grandma's feelings to not have one but the child should not be forced to give one.  The lets the child know that its his body, his choice.  
As the child ages, talk to them more about ways to say no and that it is okay to walk away.
Let your kids know that if they are called names for not engaging in certain activities, that it is okay to be sad/embarrassed and that it also shows that they did the right thing.  Think about it.  If your daughter decided not to kiss a boy and he call her a prude, it means he is a jerk which reaffirms her decision to not kiss him.
Make sure you are also talking to your kids about making sure they receive consent.  Both boys and girls need to know that when they touch another person, the other person needs to want them to do that.  Talk to them about both verbal and non verbal ways they can tell the other person is enjoying what is going on.  
Lastly, (it is sad that this has to even be brought up) if the person is unable to give consent for some reason, like they are passed out, then consent is NOT given.  Make sure your child knows this.  
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    JENNIFER EULBERG, MA, LPC

    ​Welcome Jennifer, our new blogger!
     Jennifer is a counselor at Sandhill who specializes in depression, self-esteem, and grief & loss. Get to know Jennifer as she shares her perspectives on life, contemplates value themes, and offers gentle encouragement. 

    THANK YOU to Stefanie Pisarkiewicz, LPC for her blog contributions from November 2014 - February 2019!

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