Over the last year I've noticed an increase in the amount of labels in teens and people in their twenties. Often when I think of someone being labeled, it is a bad thing. With the terms I have been hearing, that is not the case. As many of the terms are newer (and some I had to ask what they meant), I thought I would share some of the more common ones. I obtained the definitions from Urban Dictionary.
cisgender- someone whose gender corresponds to their assigned sex. Example: Cisgender male. Born male, identifies as male.
pansexual- a person who is sexually interested in other people regardless of gender, identity, or chromosomes.
demiromantic- someone who only feels romantic attraction after having an emotional connection.
demisexual- someone who only feels sexual attraction after having an emotional connection.
panromantic- a person that is attracted to all genders romantically but not sexually.
deadname- the birth name given to someone who has changed their name, frequently used for trans people's birth name.
I find it interesting that new labels are being created. I asked a few clients why they felt that was and the answers they gave lead me to believe that labels are already being thrown around, so why not own them and make them accurate.
Here are two websites that have a lot more terms and definitions:
Don't be afraid to ask if someone identifies with a term you are not familiar with. It is a great way to learn!
These August memes pretty much sum up what I have been feeling this past week. I can't believe summer vacation days are winding down and another school year is about to start. My husband is an 8th grade teacher, so he has had to already start back with teacher meetings and next week my kids will start back.
In many of my sessions with clients, we have been discussing the upcoming school year. The majority report similar feelings-nervousness and excitement. Students look forward to seeing many friends again, having activities start back up, and getting out of the house. They dread early mornings, lots of homework, pressure, and feeling judged. In looking back on my school days, I also felt similar emotions, but not to the extent many feel now.
I typically only work with ages ten and up, but, across the ages, the feeling of being judged is very high! Many schools state zero tolerance for bullying but the bullies are smart and it regularly happens. Also, students feel judged even when that is not there peers' intentions. Due to social media, we invite ourselves to be judged even more than in the past although if we don't have it, we are judged in a different way.
I want to challenge everyone this year to talk to their kids about if they feel judged and if they are judging others. What type of comments affect them? Do they pay attention to how their comments affect others? What are non verbal signs that their comments affected others negatively? Are we sharing positives and complimenting others when appropriate? The majority of people like to hear good things about themselves, so we should share those freely. If we do provide a negative comment, what purpose is it for? Constructive criticism to help someone grow and learn is good, calling out others to boost ourselves up is not. If you are reading this and thinking, surely my kid is not judging others, you may be surprised. We do it often as adults too. We need to give some extra attention to our actions/words and their impacts.
JENNIFER EULBERG, MA, LPC
Welcome Jennifer, our new blogger!
Jennifer is a counselor at Sandhill who specializes in depression, self-esteem, and grief & loss. Get to know Jennifer as she shares her perspectives on life, contemplates value themes, and offers gentle encouragement.
THANK YOU to Stefanie Pisarkiewicz, LPC for her blog contributions from November 2014 - February 2019!