Values as Your Personal GPS Through Life

by Jake Bava, MA, PLPC

Life often feels like a cycle of choices that need to be made over and over again. What do I want for dinner? What
should I wear today? Should I look for a new job? Do I want to stay in this relationship? Where do I go next with my life? Some of these decisions are pretty mundane. Others can feel incredibly overwhelming with stakes that feel more monumental than anything we’ve experienced before. Over time, these choices weigh on us and leave us feeling exhausted, insecure, lacking confidence and unsure about what the future holds.

I was faced with this exact circumstance early on in my college experience. I convinced myself that I was going to be a pharmacist and join the medical field, helping people manage their medications and make sense of what they were taking. After failing the intro level biology course for the third time, I was faced with the paralyzing question: What do I do now? My entire life plan had been flipped on its head and I was left reeling from the shock, desperately trying to figure out where I fit in. The answer to this, and so many other questions in my life, were found by reflecting on my personal values and using them to guide my actions and decisions moving forward. I wanted to join the medical field so I could help people; however, the coursework was getting in my way. By understanding the importance that values like altruism, perseverance, and personal growth play in my life, I was able to better understand what the next best decision was for me. Those decisions lead me to pursue a career in mental health as a therapist.

Where will your decisions lead you? If you want to find out, try this value identification exercise and see where it leads you.

Step 1: Value Identification

The first step in letting your values guide your decision making is identifying which values are most important to you. One of the easiest ways to do this is by making a values tier list. Find a list of values, like the one linked here (https://brenebrown.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/05/DTL-Hub_Resources_05_Values.jpg) and sort them into one of three categories: unimportant, somewhat important, and very important. Be sure to take your time with this step. Don’t be afraid to look up words or values that you don’t understand. The key is to get curious and explore what it is for you that makes a value important. Not what is important to your parents or your friends or your peers, but what is important for YOU.

Step 2: Reflection and Understanding

Now that you have a better understanding of what values are important and which are not, you can start to explore the deeper meaning behind that. What is it about the values you chose that make them important? How have these values played a role in your life so far? How have they been absent or neglected in the past? What kind of future do you see for yourself if these values were more active in your thoughts and actions? These are all important questions that deserve consideration and exploration. Understanding what values are character defining for you and why those values are important gives a greater sense of purpose and meaning to all aspects of your life, whether mundane or monumental.

Step 3: Values in Action

You know what values are important for you, you know why those values are important and the significance that they hold in your story, the last step is figuring out how to put these values into action. This tends to be the most difficult step, but it is also the most rewarding. Some people find it helpful to have a model or several models that can provide examples of what values look like in action. Look at the list of important values you chose and think about people or characters that you feel live out these values on a day-to-day basis. These can be people you know personally, someone that you admire, or a fictional character from your favorite TV show, book or movie. Consider how these people put their values into action and look for areas of your own life where you can do the same. When faced with a question or a decision, ask yourself “What choice is most in line with my values?” With time and practice, this process will become second nature to you.