By Jennifer Eulberg, MA, LPC
In choosing to theme my blogs based on the words atop the doors of each space in Sandhill, I anticipated some would be more challenging than others. The truth is, each topic comes differently than I expect. I often start on one when inspiration strikes from somewhere else. “Flexible” was one I thought would elude my notice until the end of the series; however, recent events pushed me headlong into examining my own flexibility.
Throughout my own life and into my career, I’ve created work for myself in the area of learning to “improvise, adapt, and overcome” the challenges of change. However, like most people, finding peace within it can be a challenge. While I am able to self-reflect and dissect the “reasons” behind my uneasiness, the bigger challenge is to know what, if anything, to do about it. When I find myself in such a place, I often reflect on my work with clients.
I try to help clients move away from black and white concepts like “right” and “wrong” to be replaced with “helpful” or “unhelpful”. If we believe something is “right” we may continue using/doing it even when it doesn’t serve us well. On the other hand, if we believe something is “wrong” we may never try it, and miss out on something helpful. Thus, I encourage the use of asking, “is it working?” instead.
It isn’t always easy to move away from our ideal scenarios, comfortable behaviors, automatic thoughts, and familiar feelings; however, flexibility can lead to creative and positive results. After all, therapy is a process of listening, examining, processing and reflecting, creating room for positive adjustments. Perhaps your situation IS working for you and the fear is that change will make things WORSE. Challenge that fear with the fact your odds are equal in the chance of getting something BETTER! Reflect on the times where things didn’t work out just the way you hoped/anticipated. Was it the end of one thing, yet the beginning of another? Certain types of change can be difficult, but remember you have survived change every time you’ve faced it—a 100% success rate!
Is it scary? Yes. Difficult, yes. Do-able? YES! Therefore, I’m striving forward with a flexible mindset to embrace, rather than fear, the upcoming changes in my life. I hope you will consider joining me on this journey in whatever way makes the most sense to you.
JENNIFER EULBERG, MA, LPC
Welcome Jennifer, our new blogger!
Jennifer is a counselor at Sandhill who specializes in depression, self-esteem, and grief & loss. Get to know Jennifer as she shares her perspectives on life, contemplates value themes, and offers gentle encouragement.
THANK YOU to Stefanie Pisarkiewicz, LPC for her blog contributions from November 2014 - February 2019!