Getting a grip on your emotions during the holiday season can be challenging, maybe even more so than resisting your third piece of pumpkin pie. While some people may seem to be filled with holiday cheer, others might feel overwhelmed, facing stress and anxiety. According to the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI), 64% of people dealing with mental health challenges reported that their holiday cheer takes a turn for the worse. So, how can you maintain your composure? When the crunching of leaves underneath your feet and the warmth of a cup of apple cider in your hands aren't enough to brighten your mood, here are some suggestions that can be useful to manage your emotions around the holidays.

Your Feelings Are Always Valid: The holiday season is often portrayed as a time of joy and cheer; however, if you're not feeling the holiday spirit, that’s okay. Instead of burying your feelings like leftover food from Thanksgiving, why not acknowledge them? It’s perfectly acceptable to experience a full range of emotions during the holidays, including those that aren’t particularly cheerful. Think of these emotions as holiday guests: allow them to visit, but don’t let them overstay their welcome!

Be Kind to Yourself: Are you striving to be the perfect host during the holidays? If things don’t go as planned - perhaps the turkey gets burnt, the mashed potatoes turn lumpy, or there's an unexpected visit from Uncle Bob (I thought he was going to be in Hawaii this year!) - just go with the flow! Treat yourself with the same kindness you would offer to your best friend. You would reassure your best friend by saying, "It's okay, you've got this!" So why not offer yourself the same encouragement? Practicing kindness towards yourself can help lower feelings of anxiety and depression, improve your ability to handle the stressors of daily life, and enhance your self-esteem!

Prioritize Your Time: As the festivities ramp up, utilize your planner and create a daily schedule. Visualizing your activities can save you from those last-minute freakouts that make you want to take cover under a pile of blankets. Also, it’s acceptable to say “no” to some plans! Prioritize yourself and focus on what matters to you. This will help you dodge those extra social happenings that clash with some much-needed ‘me’ time. Furthermore, reducing your social media scrolling can declutter your mind and spare you from constant comparisons, such as feeling less happy and successful than Peggy from the book club (we all know Peggy tends to exaggerate). Your mental well-being will thank you!

Physical Health Impacts Mental Health: According to the Mental Health Foundation (MHF), physical health problems significantly increase our risk of developing mental health problems. So keep nurturing your body! Drink plenty of water, monitor that ‘holiday cheer’, get moving and stay active, stick to your normal sleep schedule, and balance out all those festive treats with healthier options. Did your favorite team just give up a 14-point lead against their archrival? Remember to breathe - deep breathing can help relieve stress and anxiety.

Reach Out for Help: For some, the holidays are hard. They can remind us of things we no longer do or those who are no longer here. Unfortunately, no amount of twinkling lights and sugar cookies can fix the hurt that so many have during this time of year. So if you're feeling a bit down, don’t hesitate to reach out to a friend or loved one to share the holiday feels! If the weight of the world feels like a heavy blanket, chatting with a mental health professional can truly be a lifesaver. We here at Sandhill Counseling & Consultation are here to help! Just remember, if things get a little too intense, don’t be afraid to seek emergency help—because no one should be left out in the cold!
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Self-care should be proactive, not reactive, all year round. It's crucial to prioritize this during the holiday season, as the added stress from family gatherings, financial pressures, busy schedules, and social obligations can be overwhelming. Remember, it’s okay to not be okay. Be kind to yourself, nurture your body, and don’t hesitate to seek support. Embrace these practices to fill your holiday season with joy and laughter while keeping stress at bay. Cheers to a wonderful holiday season!

What is gratitude? Is it a feeling, a personality trait, a virtue, an attitude or an action? I believe it is all the above. The definition from the Oxford dictionary states that “gratitude is the quality of being thankful; readiness to show appreciation for and to return kindness.” Robert Emmons, PhD, who has done extensive research on gratitude and joy describes gratitude as having two parts: affirmation of goodness and recognition that the sources of goodness are outside of ourselves. Basically, recognizing what we are thankful for but also to whom we are thankful.

Have you ever met someone who has a joyful and positive attitude, no matter what stressors they may feel or hardships they endure? Recent research shows that this positive and joyful attitude occurs mostly in people who practice gratitude regularly. Fr. Richard Rohr, a Franciscan priest and founder of The Center for Action and Contemplation, shared, “It is not joy that makes us grateful, but gratitude that makes us joyful.” When we express, receive, or witness gratitude, our brain releases dopamine and serotonin. This immediately enhances feelings of happiness, calm, focus, motivation, and contentment.

Recent research has shown these benefits of practicing gratitude consistently:

• Improves physical health
• Enhances psychological health
• Increases empathy and reduces aggression
• Improves sleep quality
• Boosts self-esteem

So, how do we practice gratitude daily? Here are some ideas:

1. Write down what you are grateful for. It could be small things like a good cup of coffee or big things like the health of my children. Some find it helpful to make journaling about gratitude a part of their daily or weekly routine.
2. Take notice of things around you: the air you breathe, the sunshine on your face, the wind blowing through the trees, the laugh of your loved ones, the smile of a stranger, the thoughtfulness of a coworker.
3. Write a gratitude letter to someone.
4. Start a new habit around the dinner table where everyone shares 1 or 2 things they are grateful for.
5. Show gratitude to strangers: a smile in the grocery store, a wave when another driver lets you into traffic, a “good morning” to the worker at the gas station.
6. Spend time quietly meditating on blessings in your life

There are so many more ways to practice gratitude, but the key is to take the time to focus on gratefulness. Maybe this month of November with Thanksgiving coming up is a good time to start practicing gratitude. Give it a try. It will enhance your life as well as those around you.

​Thanks for taking the time to read this blog and have a wonderful Thanksgiving.