Reducing the silence Stigma around suicide

by Jill Storm, M.Ed, PLPC

September is National Suicide Prevention Month. In 2022, the CDC found that almost 50,000 Americans died by suicide. Among 10 to 14 year olds, suicide is the second leading cause of death, and among those who are 15 to 24, it is the third leading cause. According to the Jason Foundation, more young adults die by suicide than cancer, heart disease, AIDS, pneumonia, and influenza combined.

Let that sink in for a moment. Our children and early adolescents are struggling, oftentimes silently.

While in many ways we have made strides in the field of mental health towards normalizing depression and suicidal thoughts, we still have a long way to go. Children who have thoughts or urges to end their lives oftentimes fear the reactions of trusted adults. Will they send me to the hospital? Will they think I’m just trying to get attention? Adolescents might share more readily with their peers, but their friends often don’t know what to do with this information either. Their friends might also be struggling and have the same questions of what might happen if they tell an adult.

The reality is that as a society we are still uncomfortable talking about suicide. We speak in euphemisms or hushed tones when we need to be speaking loudly and frequently. It is not an exaggeration to say that we have an epidemic of suicide among our adolescents.

All the research says that talking about suicide does not increase rates of suicide. So talk about suicide with kids in age appropriate ways. Be direct in your approach, especially if you have noticed any of the warning signs of suicide, which in youth include withdrawing from friends, increased depression, sleeping less or more often, and extreme mood swings. Ask them directly if they are having thoughts of killing themselves.

Another important thing to do with adolescents, whether you are a parent, an aunt or uncle, or any other adult around children, is to model vulnerability. Be honest about your own mental health struggles and that you get anxious or depressed too. This will create an environment in which adolescents feel more comfortable sharing their own thoughts and feelings.

Connection and communication are two of our most powerful tools against suicide. In her novel Delirium, Lauren Oliver reflects on the hidden quality of suicide in our culture: “Suicide. A sideways word, a word that people whisper and mutter and cough: a word that must be squeezed out behind cupped palms or murmured behind closed doors. It was only in my dreams that I hear the word shouted, screamed.” In this passage, Oliver highlights the disconnect between the interior world of someone who is struggling with suicidal thoughts and the world around her that remains silent. We must not be silent anymore.

If you or someone you care about is experiencing thoughts of suicide, there are numerous resources available to help you navigate this crisis. You can call the National Suicide Prevention Hotline, which is 1-800-273-TALK (8255). You can also just dial 988. If you are in the St. Louis area, you can call Behavioral Health Response 24 hours a day at 314-469-6644.

Numerous resources in St. Louis exist specifically for teenagers who are experiencing suicidal thoughts. The St. Louis County Children’s Service Fund operates a Youth Connection Helpline. This is a 24/7 helpline to help teenagers and their caregivers navigate a suicide crisis. You can call 314-819-8802 or text BHEARD (31648) to be connected to a trained mental health professional. KUTO (Kids Under Twenty One) is a local organization that has a crisis intervention hotline run by teenagers. It operates weekdays from 4 pm to 10 pm and on weekends from 4 pm to midnight. Teens can call 314-644-5886 to receive confidential support from other teens.
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Let’s work together to destigmatize suicide. Let’s talk about it without fear.